//be forewarned. This is a rant//
I feel like a kid who, after being told to be a good boy or else Santa won’t be dropping by this year, finds out that not only was he not good enough, but that HAHA Santa isn’t real.
We are told that if we work hard, strive to do our best and be the top among the rest, that there will be some sort of reward at the end of it. That we will get what we want, because we tried and worked so hard for it. And being stupid and naive we believe this. Putting in all our efforts into trying to be the best because we want that bright future that is promised. Like donkeys and carrots. Why do they do that? And why did we believe them? In the end after doing our best, we EXPECT some sort or return. some sort of lauding from the world, a pat on the back saying, well done, chap. now that you’ve shown that you can jump over hurdles and make it through relatively unscathed, here’s a little present to make your going forth a little bit easier. There will be more challenges, of course, harder ones, but if you do well enough, there’s another reward at the end of this tunnel, this road. Go forth, and prosper.
There isn’t. Being the best is not good enough. You have to be better than the best, and be sufficiently normal and extraordinary at the same time. You have to have the luck of a thousand rabbit’s feet, your pockets heavy with horse shoes, and your hands green from all the four leaf clovers you clutch. You have to have a spider web of strings you can pull on. You have to have a group of people holding you above their heads, pushing you into the limelight.
And after trying our hardest, when we don’t get any kind of reward, we sit back and quietly cry, and then toughen up and tell ourselves that well, we were just not good enough, and so we try harder. And every time the same thing happens and we feel like giving up because having our hopes and spirits broken time and time again is tiring. But it’s our own fault. We were dumb enough to believe. And then we really feel like giving up but a part of us still says, no, you’ve still got to try. And try we do.
But this time with the jaded, disillusioned realisation that,
The world can never guarantee us anything.
But Allah can, and does.
p/s: I’m not usually this rant-y. Sorry about this. I have much to be thankful for, I know. I could be getting this all wrong as well. Happier posts are on the way!
note to self: