I made a dress for Hudaa the other day and despite the very wobbly and uneven seams, crooked pleats, and shoddy workmanship in general, I was so happy and proud of myself. It’s been a looooong time since I felt that way. A lot of people replied to my ig story post and it got me thinking, and I suddenly had an epiphany moment.

My epiphany moment was this:

I’m more of a crafts person rather than an arts person.

Hand-on creating physical useable things. I have always liked arts and crafts. I distinctly remember in kindergarten really wanting to play in the “woodworking tools” section but never getting assigned there (got the painting station, which was 2nd best). Then in primary school I would look forward to kemahiran hidup when we’d go to the bengkel. I loved sewing little outfits for my dolls, and even sewed a bag for myself out of some scrap fabric I had lying around. I liked art too – drawing and painting felt good and I was moderately good at it – but for some reason I was never satisfied with my work, and I oftentimes didn’t finish any pieces I was working on as a result. Also it was way too easy to have sever inferiority complex when looking at other people’s art.

My fav subject in high school was woodshop, and even though I also took an art elective, my fav module in that class were the ones that were more…physical. Like linocut printmaking, collage making, etc. I adored making pop-up cards for friends and family. I loved trying new things; in uni I tried crocheting and knitting, and after uni in my whovian days I sewed a tardis pencil box for myself. Whenever people buy Ikea furniture I jump at the opportunity to put it together.

Obviously these are all very small projects for people who are serious crafters, but for someone who never really knew why she just could not get into art this was a huge awakening.

I’m trying to think of why I prefer crafts. I think its because art is too abstract, too personal, too emotional for me. It feels like you need to have your head in the clouds for a lot of the time. It is deep and subjective and the end product is usually just something pretty. Working with my hands means I know what I’m trying to do, I can construct the product in my mind and reverse engineer how to make it. I can do trial and error and experiment and modify. And at the end of it, I have something tangible. It feels much more ‘real’.

So with this realisation, I have a new resolution. I want to be crafty starting now! That means I want to get back into knitting/crocheting and actually make something me or my ids can use. I want to try my hand at linocut prints again. Get back into bookbinding. I want to sew more. I want to MAKE.

Categories: Abstract, random, thoughts, Uncategorized

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